Never A Moment's Peace

So today, I am getting ready to go to the temple. I needed to take a shower and get ready to go, so I told the girls the drill. No answering phone, doors or going outside; come get Mommy! I took a leisurely shower, letting the nice hot water rinse away all of my nasty feelings from my horrible day yesterday. I felt like I was just enjoying one of the first silent moments in my motherhood career. I felt acomplished that my children were finally old enough to stay out of trouble and to entertain themselves for 15 minutes. How WRONG I was! I was feeling so serene and prepared to go to the temple and feel the spirit. I was envisioning what a fufilling trip it would be and how I was going to feel less rushed and distracted than normal. How beautiful the day outside was and how good I was going to smell and look. I turn off the water to hear a cresendo of, "Mommy, I'm done!" By this point she was practically in tears, which meant she had been done and calling for a while. I wrapped up and dripping went out to wipe her. I asked her where she was and heard, "downstairs". Weird, I thought, we have had this conversation like 100 times; you go potty where Mommy is and you tell her you are going. I trudged down and go to wipe her only to realize there is no TP. Weird again, I just replaced the powder room TP yesterday, it shouldn't be gone. It was....every scrap was in the toilet, so much in fact, that it had absorbed all of the water and there was none left. About this moment, all of my carefully laid plans for a spiritual day flew, no raced, out the window amid my inner screams and very realistic biting of my tongue. I managed to finally get rid of all the TP and Sarah did get a spanking, I am not that patient yet. At which point I gave up ever feeling like a woman again, I am completely resigned to only being a mother from this point onward. I will never expect a moment to myself again, nor the ablitity to pee with the door shut and no one watching. I will not expect to eat my own food or watch something that is not a cartoon. Henceforth I vow to only live for my children and not myself, to be selfless in the face of adversity...blah, blah, blah...you didn't think I was serious did you? I do feel like a hopeless mess of a mother and woman, but on the bright side I have now purged myself of all my feelings and emotionally barfed on all of you, so...I feel better. Thanks!